The Strange Little Girl

There are a hundred things she has tried to chase away, the things she won't remember, and that, she can't even let herself think about because that's when the birds scream, and the worms crawl, and somewhere in her mind it's always raining a slow and endless drizzle.
You will hear that she has left the country, that there was a gift she wanted you to have, but it is lost before it reaches you. Late one night the telephone will sign, and a voice that might be hers will say something that you cannot interpret before the connection crackles and is broken. Several years later, from a taxi, you will see someone in a doorway who looks like her, but she will be gone by the time you persuade the driver to stop. You will never see her again. Whenever it rains you will think of her. (Neil Gaiman)

Bali

"I left my half heart in Bali."

Mungkin itu adalah salah satu kalimat terbaik yang pernah saya temukan beberapa bulan setelah saya meninggalkan Bali. No, I am not come from Bali, I am just some local tourist who have this "love at first sight" with Bali. Tidak pernah saya merasa begitu menemukan momen dimana saya bisa merasakan molekul-molekul perasaan hanya karena melihat sekumpulan foto berjudul "Bali" yang terselip di antara tumpukan foto di laptop, dan tidak sengaja terbongkar.

Banyak hal menarik yang menyita perhatian saya mengenai Bali. Saya dan Bali seperti berbicara tanpa henti, tanpa jeda, dimana walaupun ada jeda itu hanyalah sebuah momen untuk berpikir. Seperti Jesse dan Celine dalam sekuel "Before Sunset" dan "Before Sunrise", saya merasa begitu terkoneksi dengan Bali dan segala jenis keindahan di dalamnya.

Saya teringat ucapan hangat selamat datang dari Bandara Ngurah Rai lewat sejumput angin pagi hari yang terasa menyejukkan. Saya teringat sepasang French couple yang duduk menikmati hangatnya matahari sore di Kuta. Mereka pulalah yang menjadi objek foto kamera saya saat pertama kali menyentuh Bali. Saya teringat keinginan tertunda (sampai saat ini), mencicipi nikmatnya menyisip Americano di Starbucks Ubud. Saya teringat sergap nafas yang tertahan saat pertama kali menikmati indahnya surga dunia ciptaan Tuhan bernama Kintamani. Saya teringat momen sunset yang berkali-kali tertangkap kamera dan lensa mata, berkali-kali mengingat indahnya sunset sebelum kembali ke Jakarta.

Anehnya, hampir setengah tahun berlalu, rasa itu masih begitu kuat terpatri di kepala. Dan seluruh molekul rasa menyatu dan menginput sebuah keputusan: saya kangen Bali.

4:51:52 (and still counting) on Monday, 28th January 2013 ... I really miss the way Balinese people acted. I miss Ubud, I miss Kuta, I miss talking with strangers and start the dialogue only with a big smile and warmly hello.... and I never feel like this before. At least, to a place.

What Is

what is love?
what is fear?
what is nothing?

it is a feeling
or it is just a thing in your hole of mind
that needs to be notice
at least ...
for a while

why you are in love?
why you are in a fear?
why you feel alone in a world of nothing?